Georgia Kaye. . .I will miss you when you're 8. . .

 

Dear 7 year old Georgia,

It was your birthday yesterday and at 3:30 you turned 8 years old. In the morning your brothers and I sang you awake to the tune of Happy Birthday. . even though you really weren't 8 years old yet! I reminded you to enjoy and love the last hours of being a 7 year old girl. . .Georgia I was so emotional all day, and I REALLY wanted to make you feel special, the plan was for you to wake up and look out your window to see the trampoline daddy and I picked up for you. . .but when we got home there was some farming stuff that came up and dad went out to help someone. . .and in a year like this, that's what you do. . your dad and I felt terrible that we couldn't have the present ready for you in the morning, so the new plan was to have it ready for you after school. . .but more of the same happened and it wasn't set up yet. . . so there would be no present for you to open on your big day. . .man did we ever feel like dorks. . . I did manage to make your requested birthday meal, hamburgers on the bbq. . but they were cold, cause I was having "one of those days" and even though daddy couldn't come in for supper and it was just you, me, Leo, Oz and momak (grandma), you were still so thankful . .. because that's how you are. God gave you a heart that is so kind it makes me want to cry. You took the time to notice every single little detail the boys put into their homemade cards. . .and you looked them in the eyes and genuinely thanked them, their eyes shine when you walk in the room my dear. .. not only because you are so imaginative and goofy and fun. . but because they feel loved when they are around you. . .you amaze me.

There are a few things you should know about the seven year old Georgia. . .you care intensely about truth, about doing what's right. When you see someone being treated unfairly at school it breaks your heart and you distress about how you can help them. . .your insight into the reasons behind the way people act is wisdom beyond your years and I'm astounded that you feel just as sorry for the bully as you do for the victim, even when the victim is you. You love to laugh and have a wildly goofy side that you keep well hidden until someone really gets to know you. And even though you care deeply about others. . you have a strength and resolve in you that allows you to march to the beat of your own drum, you won't be swayed to follow the crowd, even if it means you spend recess all by yourself. . .I am so proud of you. . .

Georgia, when you were born I was 26 years old. Having you was a turning point in my life, God took the opportunity to literally touch your mommy's heart and melt away some stubborn hard layers that had built up. You see when I was a little girl, I also cared very much about truth, but as time went on I began to care far too much about how other people saw me. . .and I began to try and please people and avoid hurting them even if it meant going against what I knew was right in my own heart. It took your mom a long time to learn that doing what people wanted her to do so they wouldn't be mad, sad, or disappointed wasn't really being kind. . .kindness is never rooted in fear. . .true kindness can only be rooted in love. . . as I grew into a young lady and met your dad. . I had learned some very hard lessons about being true to who I was instead of being a people pleaser. . .but when you came along I think God knew that it was His chance to touch my heart. . .you awoke in me a powerful resolve to become the kind of person that you would be proud to call mom. . .in the hospital I cried and cried and cried. The nurses thought something was wrong with me. . .and when they asked what the matter was. . all I could answer was that "I am just soooooo happy!" In the very moment I saw you, I made a decision to confront all the things I had let slip in my life and start over. To care only about being true, to doing what was right. . especially when nobody was looking. . .to not only hold myself accountable for what I did on the outside but for also what was going on in my head. . . so that someday you would have a mommy that was worth looking up to. When I think about you I am filled with warmth, I know this is a journey we are both on together as mother and daughter. . .and I don't know if I will ever become what I hope to, but know that I love you with everything that I am. I pray for wisdom in raising you all the time. . I desperately want to spare you some of the pain I walked through in my life. . .so sometimes I'm hard on you when I see things that remind me of myself. . I know you aren't me. . and that's awesome(!). . I will never judge you for your mistakes. . .(believe me!). . .my greatest ambition is to be the best mom to you that I'm capable of being. .. someday when you read this, I hope you don't think your mom is a big geeky dork, but even if that's the case. . I can take it as long as at the very least you see that when you were 7 years old. . your mom and dad loved you more than they could bear. . .we talk endlessly about you honey, we smile, we laugh, and I think your dad won't ever recover from the ache he feels when he thinks of anyone ever hurting you. . .

Seven year old Georgia. .. I will miss you terribly.

But to my Eight year old Georgia. . .I can hardly wait to see what this year brings:)

Love,

Mom

 

 

Comments

[Linda Roy]

Ok if you wanted to make me cry you just succeeded....what a beautiful tribute Colleen...happy b-day Georgia, from the grocery store lady :) L-lew

[Becky]

oh my goodness, what an amazing post! You have a very special girl, Colleen, and she has a fantastic Mama!

[Jon Carr]

Colleen, you have been, and will always be, one of the most amazing people I know.
Your kids are some pretty lucky buggers, and there isn't a person on this earth who would disagree. Heck, if my parents weren't so awesome, I'd adopt you and Grant to be my family.
Georgia, I bought you a giant Ernie when you were born, cause I had a tiny one when I was a kid. I wanted to make sure that you would know who those Sesame Street characters were, cause I was concerned your parents wouldn't let you watch tv.
I don't know you well enough to say how great a little person you are, but your parents are great people, who believe in integrity and truth and being who you are. Remind them from time to time how much you love them....cause they, without a doubt, no matter what, love you.
Happy Birthday Georgia!

[jj]

Wow Colleen!!! Absolutely touching! Happy belated Georgia!! You have an amazing mom (and dad) to follow - you are one blessed little girl! More little girls need to be like you :)

[Ella]

That was beautiful Colleen...I am so inspired to write a letter to all 3 of my little ones now! That letter will mean so much more to Georgia than hot burgers or a trampoline on the right day...

[Ky]

Beautiful Colleen. My mascara is puddling down my cheeks. ;)

[Julie]

When I see Georgia, she reminds me of you. I remember that truth finding, kind hearted, always did the right thing little girl. I was so very proud to call her my best friend. I love that glint in Georgia's eyes, again a trait I remember in you. Georgia is so blessed to call you, Mom and Grant, Dad. God picked the perfect parents for her...what a tribute for her and what a reminder for all of us to make sure we document just how much our children really mean to us. I agree with Ella, she will not remember how hot the burgers where or if the trampoline was up but she will remember how you made her feel and that's what really matters.

[Marsha]

Blogs need a "like" button. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful girl from a beautiful Mom. I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on Georgia. My heart was stolen with the very first glance - and my feelings have not changed. Have a wonderful year, Georgie - we are all proud that you are a part of our family!
Love,
Auntie Marsha

[Colleen]

Man, all this kindness has given me an idea. . .I'll post about it soon:)

Part of what inspired me to write Georgia this letter was a brown crinkled note in the bottom of my keepsake box that was written to me 25 years ago (did I just say 25. . argh!)it was from my Kindergarten teacher and she took the time to write down a few nice things about me. . I kept that letter, and still have it. . I remember taking it out and reading it as a teenager when I was going through hard times. . it grounded me somehow. . .when I came across it again the other day I was shocked at how many memories and warm feelings surfaced...something as simple as telling people how we feel. . how far can it go?

[Colleen]

ahhh, how bad at math am I? Not 25 years ago. . try 29. . gag!

[Andrea]

TOTALLY made me cry. That was beautiful, Colleen.

[Ruth]

awwwwwwww...colleen. xo georgia. beautiful.

[Anna K]

So beautiful, Colleen-- wiping away tears, grateful to see this part of your heart. I feel the same way you did-- when I saw my daughter, I wanted to be the kind of woman that she could look up to. It's the most incredible gift.