First: Today is the Grand finale of the Dyck Family DIY Gym Bag Project Spectacular. . pics coming tomorrow.
Today is also the day I hope to hear back from Women's Enterprise Center about my loan. . .I've been on pins and needles all weekend. . .this could be it. . .at long last Gorp could launch? What!? Ahhhh. .. I can barely stand the suspense. . .gog.
. ..but I digress. . back to Playing Hurt. Hmmmm. . .I smell an analogy!
I was very excited to be chosen to review this book by Brian Goins. . .most of the marriage/relationship books I read are by women and we all know men and women are two different species;) Typically when reading books by women my internal dialogue is all like "preach it sista". . ."yeah, you said it!" and "oh, yeah, you caught me. .. I'll work on that, thanks. . " But when reading a man's perspective I found myself going "what the?", "As if?", and "you've got to be kidding!". . .. I think we forget just how different men and women are from each other. .. it's HARD work figuring out how to relate to another person, never mind a different sex!
I have to be honest. . .during the first few chapters there were quite a few sports analogies, which was alright but I did find myself going. .. ahhhhhh really? And I have a high tolerance for anything to do with sport. . .BUT. . .dude brings it round in a big way. He knows his Bible and he also knows HOW GUYS THINK. .. I didn't truly appreciate the motivation behind a guys drive and the reality that much of the time our men are "playing hurt" and we don't even know it until I read this book.
One of the light bulb moments for me was seeing just how important it was for a guy to love his wife like Christ loved the church. . .it's profound. Realizing that YOUR marriage is a way for God to be glorified??!!
"If you say "I do", God is using your marriage to paint a work of art to display His glory to the world. If Satan can exploit your conflict to destroy or dampen your love for your wife, it's as if he just sprayed graffiti all over another one of God's masterpieces."
"Whether we knew it or not, when we got married, we didn't sign up for equal rights, but the right to die to ourselves. We signed up to love like Christ loves. We signed up to beautify our brides. We signed up to take the hits and turn the other cheek."
Even though there are tons of tidbits about how and why a husband should act a certain way. . this is by no means a man bashing "pull up your bootstraps. . you aren't good enough" kind of commentary. Brain digs deep and acknolwedges that it isn't easy to lead. To persevere despite the pain. . .to PLAY HURT. He is a straight shooter on big issues like sex, ego, and he tackles hurts like being disrespected in public by your wife to being talked down to behind closed doors. His candor and honesty is absolutely refreshing.
One of my favourite quotes is from a conversation Brain was having with one of his mentors:
"The number one hallmark of great marriages are spouses who are more aware of the damage done to their mate than the damage done to themselves."
He also likens the trials in a marriage relationship to Paul's relationship with the churches he planted. . .Paul was often hurt, rejected and disrespected by the people he cherished and loved, however he always pursued victory instead of vindication. . ."Scripture highlights emotional pain, rather than hiding it. The men and women we perceive as heroes in the Bible have just as many great foibles as great feats of faith."Our modern culture seems to glorify the exact opposite behaviours, hide your pain, don't show your weaknesses. . .BE A MAN? Yeah right. I'm so sick of the pursuit of macho-ism in our culture. . .it perverts the calling of our men to have integrity and replaces it with a propensity to be dishonest and fake. A recipe for empty.
I love these 5 tips Brain gives in the book: Paul's Playbook for Playing Hurt
1. Every husband needs the GUTS to love like Christ.
2. Every husband needs the GLORY of loving like Christ.
3. Every husband needs OTHER GUYS to help him love like Christ.
4. Every husband needs the GUIDELINES to love like Christ.
-Nourish
- Cherish
5. EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS THE GOSPEL THAT EMPOWERS HIM TO LOVE LIKE CHRIST!
I have to say that despite the sports analogies;) This book reached into my preconceived notions about how men think about relationship and replaced them with a new respect and understanding for the unique calling and challenge God sets out for our men to live out.
At the end of it all. .. I found the book enlightening and motivating. . .I love how Brian always comes back to scripture and holds up all the advice and ideals he lays out and measures them against what it says in the Word. Love it!
Check out the blog tour for this book here! As always I was given a free book in exchange for my review. . .so if ya wanna borrow it and live close by just yell:)
. .. ..ahhhhh. .. knees are shaking. . fingers trembling. . I could hardly type today I'm so nervous about hearing back about my loan. .. All I can do is pray LORD YOUR WILL BE DONE. .. but Lord, you should also know that I persevere despite all logic. . .so if you want to send me a message it might have to be rather loud and oh so obvious!
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