After a brave battle with ALS my dad passed away on August 13th with his family by his side. . .the sadness of losing him is beginning to really take hold. . . .but we are focusing on the fact that he is no longer suffering. The Lord has been so faithful throughout this crazy journey. . .we are left in awe of His mercy and power. . .
The following is the tribute I read at his funeral. . .
Being raised by Rick Fewster. .. .
This moment has been stressing us out all week. . .we knew the time would come when we would have to put into words the indefinable qualities dad walked out so effortlessly in his life. .. .obviously we all have our own reasons for loving this man and he affected all of us differently. . .but what we thought we’d talk about some of the stories you probably didn’t know. .ones from our childhood. . .we hope they shed some light on some of the less obvious reasons he had such a profound effect on his environment. . ..a challenge, yes. Because what dad had was the “it” factor. . .sure, he was a nice guy. . but he had more than that. . .Daniel, Ella and I have spent a lot of time talking this week. . .going over our memories. .. and analyzing our childhood like parts of a puzzle to be solved. . .and what we discovered was. . .
- Sometimes the unbiased eyes of children can clearly see qualities/motives and truths about situations simply because they haven’t been marred by life’s battle scars yet. . .and although they SEE these things, they may not understand what they are seeing because of maturity, grace and perspective that are gained from life’s battle scars. . .the absence of which allowed them to see the truths in the first place. .. .this became painfully obvious to us as we dissected our childhoods looking for what produced the “it” factor in our father.
I’ll come back to what we discovered in a moment. . .
It was an honour to be raised by Rick Fewster. . . we only recently realized the gift we were given by the experience of being able to simply watch him in the most influential years of our lives. God put his finger on dads life in his early twenties, he was living a somewhat hippie existence in the backcountry of Renfrew Ontario with our mom. .. .his experience with God was not subtle. . .it was a soul gripping transformation that left him forever changed. . .a fire was started. .when our parents moved to Toronto, that’s when we got to see what dad was truly made of. . . .
At the time, of course we had no idea he was imparting these lessons. . .and truth be told, he probably didn’t either. . .but these are some of the things we were gifted with witnessing. . .
1) The measure of a man: dad was never one to puff out his chest and and play the testosterone game with people. . .he seldom defended himself. . .or went out of his way to “look good” even when as kids we wished he would have. Money, titles and airs were not on his radar, we never heard him talk about them or wish for more than he had. Instead we watched him chase relationship with God with his entire heart. . . when we moved to Toronto, Dad found his calling in helping to pioneer a church for the broken. . .his heart was for the underdog, for the hurt and who society deemed the hopeless. Now for us kids. . .it was par for the course to have someone living with us who was in desperate need of acceptance, family and safety. .. holidays were times when mom and dad opened their house and hearts further and welcomed in folks who had nowhere to go. . . .God provided for us in some miraculous ways. .. we would be short on rent or money for groceries and some random guy would shake dads hand and leave in his palm the exact amount of money needed to get us through. . .over and over again we got to watch God provide in some pretty crazy ways. . .This was one of the things we mentioned to him in his last hours. .. we thanked him for showing us the folly and uselessness of pride. . .
2) Because dad had a heart for hurting people. . .and because we didn’t live close to family/free babysitting. . .us kids got dragged along on his adventures. .. also known as street ministry! As kids who weren’t yet equipped with the loving filter grace provides. . we experienced the street ministry in a somewhat more callous way than dad did. . .we were fearfully waiting for the day that dad would get beat up by a bitter homeless guy or stabbed by a leather clad excessively pierced mow-hawk sporting punk. .. this would not have surprised us at all, we spent most of our time trying to avoid being hugged by overly affectionate drunks or yelled at by the bag ladies. . .dad on the other hand had this way of talking to people that left us in awe. . . .there was this one time dad approached what most of us would see as a freak, this kid had his face elaborately painted like a fierce cat, he was scary, angry and someone I’d have been happy to let pass right by… .instead dad gets in his face. . .and what we saw as scary dad had the grace to see as scared. . .by the time dad was finished with this guy he had cried the cat mask right off his face. . .and what was left was a hurting boy who needed to feel loved. . .
While discussing this story between ourselves the other day. . .it finally dawned on us what the ” it “ factor was with dad. . . it wasn’t him at all, it was how he allowed God to work through him. Now, I’m not taking all the credit away from Dad at all. . .it takes a consistent, constant battle with ones selfish tendencies to be able to engage with God on this level. . . .So many of us tend to live out our Christianity from a “LOOK AT ME GOD” perspective . . See me doing this good deed. . .see me doing the right thing. . .are you proud of me yet God?. . .do I measure up? It’s with good intentions, but selfish non the less. .. .and unfortunately rooted in pride. . . .Dad didn’t get beat up for a reason. . .he wasn’t reaching out trying to make a mark as Rick Fewster street minister. . ..he was walking out in faith, and letting God use his body as a tool for His love to pour out of. . .our human version isn’t enough. . .and folks can see through a self serving heart in 3 seconds. . .what became increasingly apparent to us, is how dad’s hunger for relationship with God is what allowed him to be so effective in life. . . .it was boggling to watch. . people in leadership were constantly seeking dad out. . .and he didn’t have a fancy education or title to flash around. . .this happened in the church world, community and in business . . dad had influence and we didn’t know why. . . .what we did know. . is that even though he never held any fancy title. . we were so proud to tell people. . my dad is Rick Fewster. . .as kids we had unwavering faith in him, we knew that dad would “do the right thing”. He would give when we didn’t have extra, he would be the ear for a broken heart. . .that’s why we were so proud to call him our dad. . .only now as adults looking back do we see the true value of this. . .
Now, we don’t want to give the impression that walking this journey has been a long chain of serene moments. .. honestly. . .sharing our home, our holidays and our parents with strange and often broken people wasn’t always easy. . .and sometimes sitting on the sidewalk at some rough intersection in down town Toronto we were thinking. . ohhhh crud. . here comes another homeless guy. . are we ever going to get out of here? . . ..this road has had big bumps in it. . .but we’ve learned some crazy lessons. . made some of our own big mistakes. . and had the honour of knowing a man like dad. . .
God’s grace is big enough for all of us. . ..in Gods eyes isn’t judgment. . .but relentless compassion for us all. . .. we’ve learned not to judge anothers journey. . .and through the hard times to open our hearts and have teachable spirits. .. .
A teachable spirit. . .and pursuing a relationship with God with gut wrenching tenacity. .. that’s what contributed to dad’s influence. . .when God put someone in Dad’s path. .. He could trust that dad would do the right thing. .. .can you imagine?. .. what a goal!. . .to continually be open to be changed challenged and molded into the person God intended. . .so He could use you to touch the world with His message of love. . .so He could pour out his grace and save us. . .
Dads heart was for people. . ..his laughing eyes and huge smile were there till the end. .. .he faced his disease with bravery and we are so proud of him.
I’m just going to read a few lines from a song called What We Proclaim in closing. . . .it represents to us what dad imparted through his journey. . .
we have this treasure in jars of clay
To show that the power comes from god
We are afflicted in every way
But we're not crushed
We are perplexed but not driven to despair
Persecuted but not forsaken
We are struck down but not destroyed
What we proclaim is not ourselves
Oh we proclaim the holy name of Jesus
Not to us oh lord not to us oh lord
But to your name be the glory
Good bye Dad. .. We love you.
.